Giving In
by hexterah
Summary: Caedus uses flow walking to slip back in time and prod Jacen to do something that will change the course of the future. Takes place during LotF & DN. One-poster/short story. Written: 12/28/07


**Author's Note: **Jacen/Caedus and his whole flow walking stuff gave me this idea – and of course, it wouldn't really work, but once the idea came about in my brain it just had to be let out. Basically Caedus is the one who cause Jacen to turn to Caedus because it's Caedus' fault (well, kind of) that Allana was born. That makes no sense at all when you say it like that – but it works in the story. Kind of. ;D Written: 12/28/2007.

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**Giving In**

She was already asleep beside him, the back of her head resting on his shoulder. His arm was around her, his fingers drifting across her skin and through the curls of her hair that were splayed across his chest and neck. He was still catching his breath and she had fallen asleep, snuggling up against him under the shimmersilk sheets. Her skin was just as soft as those sheets, he noted, as he shifted towards her and pulled her against him.

Jacen knew he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep anytime soon, not after that.

Her face was peaceful and her chest slowly moved against his with her breath while her body was curled up next to him. He didn't want to disturb her too much by getting out of bed -- he also didn't want to leave the warmth of the bed, knowing that the room would be cold once he did. But gently snaking his arm out from under her, he shifted and slipped out of the sheets, the cool air hitting his skin. Jacen clenched his teeth at the sudden temperature change and leaned down to a pile of discarded clothes beside the bed, fishing out a pair of black shorts.

After pulling them on, he wandered into the refresher, flipping on the dim set of lights and flinching as he turned the faucet over the sink on. He didn't turn the water on too strong, for fear that the noise would wake Tenel Ka. Cupping his hands under the steady stream of water, Jacen let his palms fill with the clear liquid before splashing it on his face. He repeated that a couple times before grabbing a towel next to the basin and drying his face off. When he pulled the thick fabric from his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror he stumbled backwards at the sight.

"So how was she?"

The voice seemed to resonate in his head, echoing in his mind and bouncing around his ears.

He knew when his mouth was moving, and his own mouth hadn't been moving, but that was definitely his own voice. The reflection ahead of him smiled -- and it did this while Jacen knew he, himself, wasn't grinning. At all.

That was him in the mirror, he was looking at himself. But he wasn't standing in a pair of black shorts with disheveled hair and a line of playful scratches down the right side of his chest like he should've been. He was standing there in a dark uniform, hair neatly parted on the side and an unsettling smile pasted on his lips.

His reflection moved forward when he didn't, leering over the counter and staring at his wide-eyed counterpart, still waiting for an answer to his question, "Come on, how was she?"

The reflection's brandy-brown eyes narrowed, shifting to a dull orange, flaring with a tinge of red momentarily.

"Uh... I..."

"Spit it out."

Jacen could feel himself tensing up, his shoulderblades shifting and his jaw clenching. This had to be a vision, or a dream, or a hallucination or _something_. There was no way this was real. Steeling himself, he leaned forward, mirroring his reflection and planted his bare palms on the countertop, his eyes locking with the amber ones through the mirror.

"What are you?"

"What kind of question is that? I'm you. You're me. Let's get on with it. Answer me." They were standing the same now, the reflection with his gloved hands on the countertop. He widened his eyes a bit, still waiting for an answer from Jacen.

"How was she? Is that what you want to know?" Jacen sighed angrily, the breath he exhaled causing the mirror to fog up for a moment. "If you're me, then you should already know, yes?"

The reflection's eyes shifted away from Jacen's and moved up towards the ceiling, as if he was recalling every instance of his question in his head. He nodded slowly before finally looking back down to Jacen Solo. "It only gets better. Wait till she starts--"

Jacen tore his eyes away from the mirror when he heard the door to the refresher slide open. Tenel Ka stood in the opening, her eyelids drooping and her head tilted tiredly against the doorframe. "Evening, Solo."

He felt himself actually smile, and it wasn't the disturbing grin his reflection had been wearing. He stared at her for a moment before his mind bounced back to the matter he had been dealing with before she entered, and twisting his head back towards the mirror, he was staring back at himself, black shorts, messy hair, scratches and all. Inhaling deeply, he blinked and let the breath out, wondering exactly what he had seen in the mirror.

Hearing Tenel Ka's barefeet pad across the stone floor made him turn his head towards her once more, his gaze following her across the oversized and richly decorated refresher. The off-white sheet she had around her fluttered out behind her and in the dim lights of the refresher she appeared to be some sort of ghost floating to him.

"Hey there," he whispered to her as she approached him.

She stood behind him to the left, her right hand holding the thin sheet up around her body.

"Jacen, are you alright?"

His eyes shifted to her reflection in the mirror, admiring the way the silk hugged her curves. He was perfectly fine. More than fine.

"Yeah, of course."

He watched her reflection as she approached him, vanishing behind his own reflection. Jacen could feel her against his back, resting her head between his shoulderblades.

"Do it again," the Jacen in the mirror mouthed -- the voice snaking through Jacen's mind. The reflection was back and this time he was against the far wall, leaning against it with his arms crossed and a sort of smug satisfaction in his expression.

Jacen wanted to react to the reflection but was distracted from it when Tenel Ka slid around him, placing herself between him and the counter. He could feel the shimmersilk against his back, shifting around him as she moved and when she stopped in front of him, she stopped in front of the reflection as well. But he could still see the Mirror Jacen back there, standing behind Tenel Ka, _hovering_ there behind her and leering.

"Go on," it mouthed again.

"Are you sure you're alright?" She sat herself up on the counter in front of him, her feet toying with his legs in between their bodies.

Jacen nodded, trying to keep his eyes locked on her, trying to keep them from roaming to her right, where the reflection grinned maniacally over her shoulder. "I'm great."

Her right hand let go of the sheet and it slipped down her chest a little as she reached out for his face, her fingers drifting across his cheek. "If you say so..."

He pressed his face into her palm and shifted slightly to plant a kiss in the middle of it, their eyes meeting in the low purple light of the refresher. Jacen studied her face for a few moments, his hands absently running up her legs and past her knees. For a moment, he completely forgot about the shadow of him pacing around in the mirror. He couldn't see anything past her. Right now it was only the two of them and that was how it was meant to be that night. No one else, no disruptions, no annoyances -- just the two of them and all the emotions they had bottled up over the years.

Grabbing the sheet from around her, he tugged it gently and let it slip from her frame, his hands instantly finding their way to her sides. Her skin was warm and inviting, the same way it had been earlier that evening once they had peeled off each other's clothes for the first time.

He could see her cheeks flush the slightest bit. "Again?"

The reflection was nodding furiously behind her, his grin split ear-to-ear.

Sneering inwardly at it, he ignored it once more and nodded to Tenel Ka. "Do you not want to?" His tone lowered and took on a faux suave accent. "Was I too much for you?"

Jacen smiled at her quick outburst of a laugh (that only took milliseconds for her to clamp down on) and enveloped her in his arms, their eyes locking again. She broke the stare by pressing her lips against his, and in turn scooting forward on the counter and wrapping her legs around him.

He had shut his eyes when their lips met, melting into the moment like he usually did, but seconds later his eyes ripped open -- the kiss still heated and leading to something more -- and there was that damn reflection. It was nodding slowly, the gloved hands joining over and over in a muted clap. It lingered around the mirror for a few seconds more and then just retreated into the shadows along the far wall of the chamber, leaving Jacen and Tenel Ka with their own reflections doing exactly the same thing they were. Which was now stumbling out of the refresher back to the oversized bed, still tangled in one of the sheets with their lips locked.

_Caedus looked at himself in the mirror across the chamber. He was sprawled out, back against the headboard of his bed, swimming in his black cloak, and there was a little girl dressed in white curled up in his lap, leaning her head of wavy copper hair against his chest. She was the result of that second time._

_"That's what you get for giving in,_ Jacen_," he said the name with venom, tempted to spit it to the ground afterwards. But he didn't want to disturb the little bundle of joy in his arms. The little cause of his sudden and messy downward spiral to the Dark Side -- the little bright light in the dark and ruptured galaxy that he was trying to save for her._

_"My little excuse."_


End file.
